Almost Win.

The rain is poring, just to try and out do my mood. Nice try. An almost win, it could have been a full win the next comic I was working on. This is the first not quite finished page. It isn’t likely to ever be complete because the company I was working for has lost its  legs. A Sci-Fi adventure with a strong female lead. (of course) Perhaps it’s time to play in the world of Zines? Self publish some of my most gruesome, graphic, unapologetic work.

Why do we do this to ourselves? It’s not easy being an artist. Two of my creative peers said these things to me this week. Not waning to fit into a 9-5, fear of the death of the artist, but we will happily struggle for our work, to make work. It’s how I learnt to speak before beginning to learn what my voice was. It is struggle, you struggle with yourself to get some thing out then wait to be judged, while trying to look like you don’g give a shit. Artists have many skills, we’re dangerous but easy to love.

Not wanting to publicise this comic too much, it was up for free on greatYcomics. It still is, I just don’t have enough pride in it. The page above shows some significant advances in technical skill, gutted that I won’t get to finish it off. There is a dark old little seed in me that wants to tut and sulk, whats the point, this is what you get for trying. That seed is staying in the dark with no sustenance. Dirty dark seed. It does mean I’m free to paint, and look at what is next.

An almost win should be celebrated, it shows a willing to risk and learn. It means you know more than you did before you started the race. Even if you are up against your self, you learn, you are better off than before you started. Never go for a win and you’ll learn jack shit.

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