Growing up is HARD. I grew up just enough to function in my roles. Now I’m making choices to be more adult, I can care for children and run a house, no problem. Making adult choices though, about who I am and what I want, that’s a whole other battle. I’m stepping away form the things that I’ve kept close, thinking they have nurture me. Making steps away from those old comforts and making new choices to be happy and comfortable is immensely difficult. Making choices for me, not to please or appease others is mind blowing. It is easy to lean into old chaos and discomfort, because I know those loops, I know my role within those systems.
Much of what I draw is self projective, portraits of elements of my Self. I am utterly unique, but so is every body else. Unapologetically exploring edges of what I’m capable of is both indulgent and generous. Not to mention scary as hell. What I give out visually is a fraction of a story, a narrative that is personal. Within that giving is an almost tangible element for an audience. That little bit of human nature, human struggle that is present is what I use to play with, what an audience might connect with.
#fuckoff comes around very often when I’m drawing. I don’t intend to alienate myself by this little aggression, but it’s there for glaring oppressive reasons. I sketch female figures, often nude, whole or brutally dissected, naked in parts, still figuring out why that is. I have a female body, we’ve been on some tragic adventures together. I resent it at times, others times rejoice it’s gloriousness. Obsession and exploration of the female form is giving me a delightfully obnoxious authority over the subject and the endless intricacies that emerge. Being Human, Female, a child, an adult. Looking at the body from where I am, from what I’ve learned is endlessly fun and exciting. I worried that once I’ve worked out what I need to that I will run out of subject to draw. Then it struck me, I’ll have a whole new body by that point, one that has aged and been on more adventures. I might not need to draw female form exclusively by that point, but I will because it’s so GOOD!
I’m going to draw aggressive vaginas because I can, and what?